Off My List

by Bruce Schimmel

There’s probably no more annoying or effective a nag than a ghost. But even Hamlet, our first modern neurotic, managed to avoid completing his dead dad’s shortlist of to-dos, even though it was a very short list indeed.

Fortunately for most, New Year's lists are not often topped by revenge -- unless you happen to be a neocon in the Bush administration, whose chicken hawks would make Hamlet look like the Dalai Lama.

Still, I guess there's a lesson here for your own personal list management. If you're going to create a to-do list, make it achievable. Better yet, instead of coming up with a long line of to-dos this year, try working on a list of to-don'ts.

Now that we've got PalmPilots to guide us through things to be done, maybe our New Year's resolutions ought to be more about undoing. After all, as Jodie Foster found out in her space thriller, Contact, going forward is often about letting go.

Think of it as progress through privation which, in a culture of excess, makes a tad of sense. Now I'm not advocating that we move Lent to January, which would mean following a season of giving by a time of giving up. Besides, nobody actually ever lets go of anything for long unless they've got something else to grab. Just ask any addict about only saying no.

So what am I giving up this year? Like Hamlet, I have a very short list of just two.

In the self-abuse category, I've decided to limit alcohol consumption to one dose a day. To balance this terrible loss, I'm taking on another more salutary habit. It's a dandy alternative: drinking exquisite tea. It was easy. And it seems to be working.

But giving up and finding an alternative to my other item won't be quite as simple. I've resolved to swear off profiteering from war and oppression -- which is a problem more common than you might imagine.

Chances are, you too are supporting hate.

Ask for a list of companies in the portfolio of any mutual fund you may be holding and prepare to get sick. The war-weapon GE, the un-living wage Wal-Mart and the monopolistic Microsoft are going off my list. And now that the market has rebounded somewhat, it seems like a great time to switch to companies who don't make money on misery.

The problem is finding alternatives. I'm researching some, but if you've found some good socially responsible funds or money managers, please write me. I'll check them out and pass them along.

Because, as Hamlet might say, being haunted by a horror will eventually kill you.