Hall of Shame

Every year, CP asks its staffers and contributors to suggest "best" and "worst" awards for this issue. There's always a bit of overlap, but this year saw a noticeable trend: Apparently, we are all really pissed off about SEPTA and Starbucks (OK, we had one positive entry about SEPTA and one writer torn between loving and hating Starbucks). So, just this once, we let everyone get his or her two cents in.

SEPTA

Most Infuriating "Convenience"

If there’s one thing that gets the blood boiling, it’s the inconsistent and totally illogical fashion in which you are, or aren’t, or are allowed to buy tokens. If they’re going to sit in those booths all day, couldn’t the clerks occasionally, I don’t know, make change? Or sell a token or two? Of course, sometimes — when the moon is in the seventh house, when Jupiter aligns with Mars — they do, but predicting when they will is about as easy as getting one of those clerks to crack a smile. Here’s a hint: When the token machine is busted, or if the station doesn’t have one, it’s inexcusable for the clerk not to make change, sending anyone without two singles hoofing it to the next station. Sure, not all SEPTA’s problems can be fixed, but here’s one that can, and easily. Make with the change, already.--SA

Worst Public Transportation-Related Public Safety Hazard

As if it isn’t bad enough that we are subjected to the fiduciary pain of paying two bucks to ride our woefully incomplete subway and the emotional pain of the actual ride, the machines in the stations can physically hurt you. Especially awful is the situation at the Broad-Locust/South station, where the token machines don’t take bills. Oh sure, there’s a change machine, but get out your helmet. It’s broken too, so that if you’re not extremely vigilant, your quarters become painful projectiles and shoot out at you. If you’re lucky, they just roll under the machine. The “attendants” act as though it’s your fault, which, in a way, it is: You’re the one who thought public transportation was supposed to serve the public.--NA

Worst Reason To Bike in the City

We’re doing our best to contribute to the clean air movement, at the same time incorporating exercise into our day. We thought we’d avoid an early death by quitting smoking and getting into shape by riding our bikes — to work, to the grocery store and just for fun. Yet what are we treated to? SEPTA killing us softly with exhaust. The fumes are getting blacker and more cancerous by the day. --LH

Worst City Sound

Philly can be a noisy town. With all the development under way, the sounds of the city can best be described as, let’s just say, invasive. By far, the absolute worst sound has got to be that of the perpetually squeaky brakes that seem to be installed on every single bus in the SEPTA fleet. Those infernal buses keep rolling through most of the night, somehow always managing to inject the bone-chilling sound of a long, screaming squeal into way too many of our slumbers. We wonder what it would cost SEPTA to invest in a few drums of lubricating oil. Maybe then, some of us could finally dream about something other than fuckin’ buses. --DB

Best Night Train Crew

The folks who work the 12:59 a.m. R7. They know where you get off. They wake you up if you fall asleep. They always have a smile and a kind word. They are Santa Clauses in SEPTA suits. --HA

Starbucks

Franchise Expansion Most Likely to Cause Conflicted Feelings

The little “opening soon” signs stamped with trademarked green mermaids are harbingers of both joy (accessible iced lattes, comfortingly predictable pastry options) and anxiety (inflated prices, corny demographic-targeted music selections). With new outlets occupying 15th and Latimer, Broad and Pine and Third and Arch streets, we have three more reasons to unwittingly internalize a lifetime of guilt, doubt and frappuccino cravings.--EL

Worst Corner Trend

During the Fringe we noticed that the perennially under-construction corner of Third and Arch had a banner advertising its soon-to-be occupant: Starbucks. Why? We’ve got plenty of independently owned coffee spots chock full of atmosphere and good eats. What about Café Ole? Big Jar Books? Or the old original, Old City Coffee? Now another store has opened on Broad Street at Pine. And it’s not exactly aesthetically pleasing. Sure, it’s spiffed up that corner a little, and it’s better than an abandoned parking garage, but we’d really prefer the Avenue of the Arts not resemble Main Street U.S.A.--LH

Best New Reason To Frequent Last Drop Coffee House

No, it isn’t the newly smoke-free environment inside the shop (that might even be construed as a drawback to some of us). Right before our troubled eyes, and seemingly in a matter of minutes, the evil Starbucks corporation snapped up another prime location, slapped a green sign on the outside, some crap “art” on the inside, and presto! The corner of Broad and Pine became as big an eyesore as the new green-glowing stretch across from McGlinchey’s. Go to Last Drop. Seriously. The coffee’s better, the art’s more like art and we can’t let ’em take every corner in the city.--NA

Last Drop Coffee House, 1300 Pine St., 215-893-9262.