What A Feeling

SHE'S A MANIAC: Dance Dance Revolution comes with many warning labels, but fails to mention that one may go completely insane during play.

You can channel your inner Flashdance with Dance Dance Revolution.

by Debra Auspitz

We should have been scared off by the multitude of warnings.

"Persons with heart and respiratory problems, physical impairments (such as, but not limited to, back, joint, foot, musculature and circulatory problems) that limit physical activity, are pregnant or have been advised by their physician to limit their physical activity should not use the DDR controller."

Persons under the influence of alcohol, or drugs that could impair a person's sense of balance, should not use the DDR controller.

Please do not play the game at times when the noise or vibrations may disturb your neighbors.

The folks at Konami, the company behind the now-5-year-old Dance Dance Revolution and its latest release, DDRMAX2 ($39.99 for the game, $59.99 for the game and dancepad), sure covered their bases. The controller is a foot pad, with garish colors and taunting statements printed on it (show me your moves). To play DDR, you must step, jump, slide and otherwise boogie your way around this pad as you follow a pattern on your screen. Given that you will in no time be flailing around like a beached whale on steroids, it makes sense that Konami is concerned for your health; in Japan, where DDR began and reached its most frenzied height, there were numerous gameplay-related injuries reported. But, while onscreen messages implore you not to disturb the neighbors several times before the game actually begins, they forgot the most important warning of all:

Persons who have two left feet or are prone to spastic movements should not use the DDR controller.

But use it we did. We were not, however, brave enough to venture out to an arcade and play the game in public. Philly has two spots with DDR, GameWorks on Delaware Avenue across from the Riverview movie theater, and Time Out in the Franklin Mills Mall. There are a total of 46 locations in Pennsylvania that offer DDR, and 52 in New Jersey. In its public and private forms, the game has over the past few years become increasingly popular, with tournaments, websites and many teen lives devoted to it.

Paul Davis, an 18-year-old senior at Mercy Vocational High School, has been a fan of DDR for almost two years. He plays almost every day, and calls the game his main physical activity, adding that it's ideal because it gives me exercise and it's exciting. And it's no small amount of exercise, either -- after playing the game for a few hours, our pair of testers were in a sorry state, sweating and gasping for air. To those who find cardio machines monotonous, DDR is for you: It's like a brainteaser that lets your whole body in on the frustration. The MAX2 version even has a workout mode that tells you how many calories you've burned.

It also has a sizeable roster of songs for booty-shaking, including hits especially for the hip American kiddies, like Dirty Vegas' Days Go By (you know, the song the snake girl dances to in the Mitsubishi ad). There's also some Kylie Minogue and dance remixes of old hits like In the Navy and Get Down Tonight. (The oddest choice is a dance remix of Lovin' You, with the signature la-la-la-la-la lyrics in the first few bars, then nothing but techno pumping after that.)

Once you choose a song, an annoying anime-esque club kid or a live-action music video appears on the screen. Directional arrows (which signify your dance steps) start floating upward. You watch and wait, nearly shaking in anticipation, for the arrows to reach the top of the screen. When they do, you must step on the appropriate directional point on the footpad. It seems simple enough, and the game starts out gently -- a right step, a left step, tap the front. Then it starts slamming you, speeding up into a right-front-back-left frenzy, with jumps (two arrows at once) and slides (basically one big, long arrow) to boot. Once you miss one, you're off rhythm and basically screwed. You lose points for every miss, accompanied by a helpful boo from the game. Too many boos and your sorry ass is booted. Then anime-boy insults you: What, do you have a cold? he asks, or, Did you really try your best? Ouch.

If things get too tough, head to lesson mode or practice mode for really helpful tips on how to position yourself for certain combos, plus you can practice any song's routine until you're blue in the face. Take refuge in these kinder, gentler modes until you're ready to face the music again in game mode. That is, if you're ready to really try your best this time.