Also this issue:

Ultimate Summer Fun
Swimming with Sharks (and other summertime fantasies) Or: How to spend your summer vacation
-Debra Auspitz

Endless Summer
CP’s calendar of arts events will keep you busy for the next three months.
-Art by Robin Rice, Theater by David Anthony Fox and Dance by Denise Kasrel

The Noise of Summer
Circle the shows you want to go to.
-Jazz by Kyle Parker, Folk/World by Mary Armstrong, Rock/Pop by Patrick Rapa and Classical by Peter Burwasser

Small Ball
A whole new meaning to fantasy baseball.
-Howard Altman

Painting Al Fresco
A summer crash course in watercolors.
-Lori Hill

Connecting Flight
A five-hour journey ends a century of separation.
-Frank Lewis

Salon Selective
Comfort hair, perfect tans and other lessons learned during a day of summer beauty.
-Debra Auspitz

Swim Fan
An underwater wonderland and fearsome creatures of the deep collide in a scuba-diving adventure at the aquarium.
-Helen i-lin Hwang

June 12-18, 2003

cover story

Make Way For Ducklings

Cheese and quackers: The folks behind Ride the Ducks would really appreciate that pun. Photo By: Michael T. Regan

The newest, oddest way to tour Philly.

by Debra Auspitz

A lot of the fantasies you’ll read about in this issue are of the wouldn’t-that-be-great variety. I recently experienced one that falls more into the realm of fantasy/sci-fi, during a truly otherworldly day. And on that day, I rode the Duck.

The Duck is actually the DUKW, a fancy General Motors code for 1942, the year these amphibious vehicles, used in World War II, were created. Since we no longer need to storm the beaches of Normandy, some of the remaining DUKWs have been refurbished into touring vehicles by a company based in Branson, Mo. The Duck takes tourists around a city (they currently operate in Branson, Boston, Baltimore and Seattle), driving on land and then going into the water for a portion of the ride. Philly's Ducks rolled into town a couple of weeks ago.

I rode the Duck at a preview, where, unfortunately, the water portion of the tour was not quite ready for prime time. But there was plenty of craziness on land. The day began at a "christening" ceremony at Sixth and Chestnut, the Ducks' launching point, with local TV personalities slamming champagne bottles into the four assembled Ducks. A person in a duck costume waddled around the proceedings, and, as all mascot-type creatures do, made me very, very afraid.

I escaped its clutches onto the DUKW itself, a comfortable bus-like vehicle raised high off the ground (which I guess is a good thing when you're in the Delaware River). Seated among luminaries like weather gal Kathy Orr and the king of wacky experiences, Channel 6's Don Polec, we were taken to major Old City historical spots, with a quick detour to South Street on our way to the river drop-off point on Race Street. Along the way, the passengers were given duckbill-shaped noisemakers to quack at passersby.

Our tour guide, Bubba, had a thick Southern accent and revealed to us that he had only been in Philly for a month. The drivers are well trained, though, and he knew plenty about our stops. Supposedly the guides are coached by reps from Comedy Central, which led to many groaners (you'd be surprised how much use "quack" puns can get) and some genuinely funny schtick (mostly the charming Bubba's ad-libbed riffs on the passengers). For my money, the funniest part of the day was when we heard a loud noise and Don Polec exclaimed, "I think we just laid an egg!" You gotta love that guy.

If you have visitors in town and want to show them around, the Duck is the way to go -- they'll see the major sites, you won't have to talk to anyone dressed up like a colonial, the kids will be kept busy with the quackers and everybody likes a boat trip, right? By the time our journey ended, I was hatching a plan to kidnap some tourists and go back to experience the full ride.

The Ducks will operate between Memorial Day and October, seven days a week. Tickets, $19.95 for adults, $10.95 for kids under 12, are available at the departure point at Sixth and Chestnut sts. For more information call 215-227-DUCK or visit www.phillyducks.com.