So it snowed. Unless you muddled through the blizzard of '96 drinking your face off at Anthony's in Old City, stop crying or move back to Florida. My favorite news of the week: The discovery (not the bust) of the planet's greatest cash scheme -- a male prostitution ring operating out of sixth-floor bathrooms at Strawbridge's Center City. I can hear the sad refrain: "Without the boys, Clover Days ain't the same." Nobody uses department store loos. Why not set up a biz? I'm opening a tax center at Lord & Taylor. You bring the poppers. Ladyfest Philly in da house: After snagging Bread and Roses grants for the late-March extravaganza, LFP '03 confirmed musical acts Tsunami, Bahamadia, Ida, Jen Hess, Kimya Dawson, Cynthia Mason, Kate McCabe and film The 8 Husbands of Zsa Zsa Gabor. Passes? $35 to $55 at www.ladyfestphilly.org. And there's one more L-Fest benefit: Feb. 22's Calvary Church (801 S. 48th) jawn with Need New Body, Paint it Black, Hail Social and The Heartache Disease. Dig deep. Pastry chef Kelly McGrath, sweets queen of SUD, takes on Davio's on 17th as full-time cake maven. Congrats. As WEA's Philly/N.J. branch closes Feb. 28 (all but five work-at-home employees will be let go) Chris Schwartz and Kevon Glickman's Trimedia/Ruffnation preps for the future: music-centric DVD-only mini-movies. Along with releasing Snipes and the Wyclef Jean-owned Shottas, Tri-Ruff purchased the locally filmed 13th Child and will, according to rumor, pump it up with a death metal soundtrack from Relapse, Chord and the likes of Lollipop Lust Kill. Josh Wink's Ovum label signed for major distribution through System NYC, the same org that pumps out Dieselboy's Human imprint. Wink's neighbor, Mr. 611 Nigel Richards, not only dropped Futurematic (featuring Wink), he's DJ'ing North on Feb. 23 and starting Futurematic Thursdays at Tribecca, Feb. 27 with DJ Lee Jones. Want to aid the 215 Fest's next weekend (Oct. 9-12)? Hit the 215 Fest Rent Party Feb. 22, 301 Monroe St., #2. Blue door. And bring $10. Proceeds benefit 215. WhoWhatWhere: Mama's Boy Mgt. and Musiq Soulchild partied at Lounge 125. David Carroll, while prepping for Magazine's promised 'Zine zine (with editor Jackie McDonough), took a reservation from Dame Edna, high-pitched voice and all. Barry Humphries (the Dame) had a lovely time. Busta Rhymes did some time at Indre Studio. Arturo Brachetti spent his post-quick-change opening night at Maggiano's Little Italy. And will Blythe Danner (Gwyneth's mom) special-guest TLA's upcoming Film Fest-of-Indies? Congrats to Kelly Boyd PR's right hand, Kelly Croce, for engaging Jeff Sorg, boyfriend of five years. No sooner does Vanishing Peoples of the Earth (Kimmel lady Keisha Hutchins' duo with Doug Hirlinger) drop their freaky debut You Might Be One of Us than they're teaming with DJs Argo and Edwin for the live, dub-like groove of "Polyrhythmic Sound System," Feb. 22 at Aqua Lounge. Expect on-spot remixes of VPoE's moist, ambient sound via the MPC 2000 and three turntables. When Marmont starts "Moody Martini" Feb. 20, look for me, DJ A.D., to put a Rat Pack hurting on you. The kids at Radiovolta ("Philly's only DIY station, yeah, yeah," says PD Derek of www.radiovolta.org) acquired Mike Watt's every-other-Saturday-night "The Watt from Pedro Show," starting Feb. 22. So who brought Tug McGraw to bear on Photon Band's Fire show? Tom Sheehy and Standard Tap's "Coaches Corner," who surprised baseball freak Art Di Furia at The Fire. "Art, I've been a fan of yours since Uptown Bones," said Tug. Rumor: The Moshulu will be up and running and not with previous owner Eli at the dock. Along with taking part in March 1's "Exploration in Sound" at the TLA, Robots in Disguise got some solo stuff brewing: Mikronesia hits Rotunda Feb. 21 while DJ Hutnons joins Jimmy Coleman's Aqua Sessions at NXNW Feb. 27 with John Swana and Pete Kuzma. DJ Chatty Cathy hits Key West with an aptly-titled "New Wave," Feb. 20 in their level-two lounge. And talk about apt, Ms. Trishy's "Death Disco" at Silk City Feb. 26 (with fellow DJ Gabe Boylan) is all about spinning Suicide, Big Black and DNA. Young Werewolves celebrate finishing their new CD with a gig Feb. 21 at Tritone with the equally hairy Ben Edwards Trio and PT Lovecraft. Wanna celebrate Sean O’Neal's birthday? Me neither. But Soulglo's Willyum and Florida's Q-Burns Abstract Message do, Feb. 27 at Liquid Blue, so who am I to say?