Before I mouth off on Valentine's Day, let's talk Phil Spector. Those who remember the Philly Music Conference debacle know well his wont to abuse, wave guns and snort substances in order to make himself even less attractive than any tiny ugly man with bad hair and tired songs has a right to be. Note to Noel Ramos, who's revisiting PMC with his own version in August: Hire no one who worked previous PMCs (and don't book anyone who worked with Darlene Love). Now the Val-Day club tip: Rotunda's "Anti-Valentines Rock 'n' Roll Experience" with Psy-Ops (just out: Don't Fall Asleep with the Television On) and Ween's Instant Death project. Cary Borish and Brett Perloff shower you with chocolate at Marathon Commerce Square. World Fusion's "Aphrodisiac" evening of edible flowers, oysters and loin-stirring snacks (ya know, Sinatra ate Wheaties to, um, get ready). 32 hosts "Cheater's Ball" Feb. 13, with "privacy protected: no cameras" and rouseable goodies. Finally, hit Chrome on Feb. 14, for the casting couch, I mean, call, that is Girls Gone Wild Inc.'s video-series shoot. There's me, A.D., subbing for Bobby Startup (he's got another one-nighter at Delano in South Beach) at Bar Noir Feb. 17 with "Songs of Hate." Feb. 18, Trust begins "La Vie En Rose," a dazzling weekly starring Bump-brunch babe Natasha crooning and making jokes, Brittany Lynn and drag queens galore. PaperStreet's Forecast ball -- Feb. 15, Tribecca -- gets humid for "Heatwave" with fire-eaters, celeb hot tubs, GBH DJ Anthony Mac. Hip-hop hit man Swizz Beatz takes his act to J-Records for a label (Full Surface) that lists, among first signings, R&B smoothie Keith Sweat, BET's Big Tigger and Philly's Cassidy. While Cassidy's CD features mixes from Rocwilder and duets with Eve and Jadakiss, Swizz's eyeballing Philly's crunchy Superhero, with whom he hung at NYC's Sony Studios. And whoops, in my haste to cut Icepack down to size last week, I trimmed the name of the Eve who is Holly Mack-Ward's partner on due-in-March mag The Jawn; it's not the rapper but the equally linguisitically skilled Eve Simonsen from Squarebiz Inc. My bad. Fave title: Philadelphia Freeway, by (who else?) Freeway, on Def Jam. Kelly Slusher's new sweet sad Boothby hits Doc Watson's Feb. 14 with Fingernail and its offshoot, The Needles. WhoWhatWhere: Erykah Badu mentored school kids at TLA for the Recording Academy. Dame Edna got recognized as his true self, Barry Humphries, at Striped Bass. Bachelor 2 local Helen Eksterowicz not only got un-engaged last week (the ring's off and up for sale), she was hanging at a Wings lacrosse game at FU Center. No Big Mess-y Greg Giovanni to kick around for two months. He's in Tokyo continuing Noh theater studies thanks to Philly's Independence Foundation and The Phoebe Haas Foundation. 1812's Jen Childs, who directs Schrodinger's Girlfriend at Act II Playhouse starting March 11, is also prepping for mom-hood in July. What'th hell is R5's Sean Agnew doing in XLR8R mag's "Art and Activism" ish with KRS-One?. Philly guitar legend Pat Martino just started recording his fourth release for Blue Note with fellow local jazzbo, bassist Christian McBride, who debuts his Vertical Vision (Warner Bros.) this week. When you welcome Ladytron to the Troc, Feb. 16, ask them for the Josh Wink remix of their "Blue Jeans." Lil’ David Adams is everywhere: Along with hosting Kindred's release party for their debut (finally!) Hidden Beach CD, Surrender to Love, the other night at Crimson Moon Café, he's DJ'ing Savannah's Feb. 18 with the broke-beat Imaginauts (DJs Edwin and June Lopez). Freedom Theatre's staged readings, "Six Blocks Off Broad" on Mondays, kick off Feb. 17 with Henry Holtzman's Heroes' Feast. Talking feasts, Lee Jones' "Lord of the Blings" at Swanky Bubbles Feb. 16 may indeed be about his crafty DJ'ing. But Swank's serving Colt 45, fried chicken, corn bread and ambrosia in the gin and juice lounge. After tackling Sara Sherr's drag Sugar Town at The Balcony, Dumpsta Players and Chardonna Jenkins miss-appropriate Bob n' Barb's Feb. 19 with random K-Tell scary stuff. Jamaican Dave brings Kingston, Jamaica's Sanchez to Pegasus Feb. 16, for crooned-smooth originals from Up Close and Personal. Jersey singing songwriter Lanky shows off Inner Onwriter for his Philly debut Feb. 13 at La Tazza. (Think Ours, Jeff Buckley.) Equally haunted, same night, same spot: SoundLab's Cassendre Xavier celebrates both a new spooky two-CD set as well as a birthday. Also b-daying are Silk City's usual Aquarian brunch crew (DJs Tripp, Dozia, Rahsaan, Frank, Joe Cas will be there Feb. 16), Tokyo-photog Arisa S. and loco-local hairman Tommy Rosario.