Barely a week old and there's New Year tragedy. Like Slick Duck Comic Brigade censoring their cops-and-priests Mummers routine (if they were ever gonna do it). And what happened at youngprofessionalevents.com's NYE at The Academy of Natural Sciences? Either enraged attendees (over 1,300 -- bravo to that) got pissed that the too-few bars ran out of liquor too early or usual disgruntled sorts ("amped-up yuppies at 4 a.m.," says a source) went wack to the point of threatening YPE employees. And it was either very romantic ("Hey, is that an eel roll or are you just happy to ") or confusing ("No, it's an eel roll") for Starr-Group eaters when lights and power went out NYE at Jones, Blue Angel, Morimoto and the rest of Seventh and Chestnut. That's the downside of owning a whole block. Then there's Jason Killinger of Trauma Queens (buy their friggin' CD, folks; it's killer), who spent NYE so drunk he doesn't remember playing Silk City: "I broke a bass string and realized I was too drunk to even tune the thing, let alone change a string. So I just sang for the rest of the show." Speaking of blockheads, Eagles fever is in full swing. Manayunk Brewery's roasting pigs (no, I don't mean rudely saluting the Iggles coach Friars Club-style) each weekend and eBay's got tickets. What I like is, after last weekend's defeat, Eagles A.J. Feeley and John Welbourn drowned sorrows at 32°'s VIP lounge (same place where Radio Shacktress Teri Hatcher was hanging). Keep drinking. Wondering what happened with Gasoline/8th Street Lounge that it got changed around so quickly for NYE? The Bros. Weiss sold it to the Bros. Bynum of Zanzibar Blue, who turned it into the swanky lounge Beyond. Bynums' Brave New World/Soulstar's "Philly Unplugged" open mic heads to Beyond every Monday with Epic A&R execs looking for local R&B types. Meanwhile, Brave New World becomes 720 Arch, hosting DJ nights like Brendan O/Joey Blanco's "The Joint" (refugee from 1616, now sadly out of Phil and Molly's hands) every Friday, sponsored by Squarebiz. (See Beat Box on p. 37 for more details.) The DJ team had a great apt visitor to their Anjou Soul Travelin' night: Teena Marie, Caucasoid mistress of funk. (P.S.: Zanzibar Blue's record label just repackaged Fortune Vinson Cruse's Live at ZB CD and is gearing up for the trio's funkier, newer Sunny Nights. Openings: While it looks as if L'tage (Beau Monde creperie's cabaret lounge) and Marathon Lounge open the weekend of Jan. 17, and Wayne Schulick's Denim VIP boîte unzips the weekend of Jan. 24, Avram Hornik (Lucy's Hat Shop) opens the Francophiliac Loie (128 S. 19th), an art nouveau brasserie, first week of February with former Le Bec-Fin/Brasserie Perrier chef Jeremy Duclut in tow. Saigon Slimm will be toting an all-new-song-set Jan. 10 at NXNW. Congrats to the Cream Chargers, who signed to the Euro label Insanity, with their Ian Cross/Walt Bass/Ruff Studio-recorded 130 Sq. Feet of Noise. Before the CD comes out in May and CC go on tour, they hit The North Star Jan. 10 with Aim of Conrad. Jan. 13's Remedy night at Fluid, is a Cosmo/Cozmic mix as Mr. Baker joins the Cat for a sweaty DJ battle royale. After members spent 2002 backing Marah and Boyd of London, Three 4 Tens -- with original guitarist Brian McNamara -- will rip the snout off of 2003 with a 12-tune disc tentatively titled Taking Northern Liberties, out in March on Rainbow Quartz. (Yes, Sony's still considering Marah if T4T is part of the deal). Three 4 Tens will be at The Khyber Jan. 11 with PA Muzzleloader, and at Silk City Jan. 20 with one of my fave new locals, The Teeth. If you missed Vertebrae at The Khyber on Wednesday, the duo released a first CD, Pinafore, on Collision/Collider Records. Gals of G-Room plus DJs Carl Michaels and H.P. Monroe steer their monthly jam to Mirage, 216 S. 11th St., Jan. 11. Get ready as they plan an Art Circus Forum sideshow for February. Brian Drader's drama, Prok, winner of Brick Playhouse Playwriting Award, premieres there Jan. 9. You miss McGowan? Oddly enough, me neither. Still, he'll appear at Club 218, Jan. 9, with Polar Creep, after having spent 2002 recording and appearing everywhere (including the Australian Grammys) with Ben Lee, touring with Vanessa Carlton, recording vocals on the new G. Love CD, listening to Tom Rush record one of his songs on Rush's Ruff Studio-recorded comeback and scoring the i-film Heaven On Earth. Prank of the week: Five Spot burlesquer Scott Johnson mic'd Twenty21's Robin Parry from her cell phone to the stage as part of a skit. This should bode well for the Five's Legendary Wid, a comic soon to join Parry's First Friday bachelor pad eve in February. A quick P.S. about last week's R5 mention of utilizing David Carroll's old Starlight Ballroom space. It's in name only -- my fave dangerous venue used to be at Kensington and Lehigh, not Ninth and Hamilton where this new Starlight is. No memory points for y'all.