I hate Christmas rock-outs (Bobby Helms, Chuck Berry -- not so fond of Bowie and Bing either), but Philly’s rawk jams are cuter than reindeer cutlets. The least fa-la-la-la of all the rancid locals, Sic Kidz, herald something loud this Friday the 13th when they play the opening reception at the Balcony for “Artifacts of the Improbable: A Celebration of Poster Arts,” which’ll run at Sher’s Book Shop (706 N. Second) Dec. 14-15. The “largest concert poster show in the world” has old and new placards from internationally known types like Gary Panter and Raymond Pettibon to regionally renowned sorts Marc Brodzik, Furry Couch and Matt Marello amongst its 100-or-so artists. There’s also a Philly punk section (Love Club, East Side, Hot Club) to prove it.… Blocks away at The Khyber, it’s the last weekend for 32 musicians who’ve never met to be forced together (via entry forms, nothing kinky) to start writing/rehearsing for Plain Parade DJ Maria Tessa Sciarrino’s Rock Lotto. The choosing takes place Dec. 18.… Ricky Paul (also in Dec. 16’s Box Office of the Damned with Jilline Ringle at The Arden), DJ K-Tel and Dumpsta Players hook up at Bob-n-Barb’s Dec. 18 for “Moulin Scrooge,” a tribute to all things Zsa Zsa Aguilera, and present the “Dumpie Awards” to deserving bastards.… While the Prince Theater celebrates local filmmaker/video-art avatar Peter Rose, ex-Stickmen/maximal composer Jim Meneses and percussive pal Toshi Makihara (with Chicagoan Eric Leonardson and his battery of “invented instruments”) improv live scores for three Rose shows, Omen, The Darkening and the manipulated mossy split-screen active The Geosophist’s Tears at Tritone Dec. 14.… WhoWhatWhere: In NoLib, ex-Rolling Hayseeds Rich Kaufman and Kevin Karg joined hands and hearts once more -- after being apart for three years -- at Silk City. And yes, nothing says “Christmas” and “all-natural ingredient moisturizers” like Eve, Philly’s hit-making movie star/mistress of hip-hop, who will appear at Kiehl’s grand opening party Dec. 14, 7-9 p.m. Eve, Floetry, Freeway, Dr. J and Patti LaBelle (who, along with Andre

Braugher, sadly bagged on last week’s New Freedom Theater fundraising gala) are all rumored to be attending Erving Wonder’s Friday the 13th Holiday Extravaganza at World Fusion.… Ex-Wanderluster Scot “Hairclub for Men” Sax tried to sneak his Curb-label pop band, Feel, into The Point last week without anyone knowing. They succeeded.… After having played the unlikeliest of venues (like the house of hummus that is Bitar’s on 40th Street), wack world-rockers Animus hit Club 218 Dec. 12.… From drumsticks to drumsticks: Cibucan’s executive chef/partner Owen Lee is also the drummer in the Don Jones Band, who will be tapas-tapping there, at Cibucan, Dec. 18 at 10 p.m.… Ex-members of The Persons and The Clocks fuse as one for Dragon City and open for noisy Neu-like instrumentalists Hanged Up at Doc Watson’s Dec. 12. Look for a batch of Tower Recca employees, Lee, on the same bill.… Speaking of noise, DJ Crasta mans “Shoegazer Showdown” at The Khyber Dec. 20.… Denison Witmer, joined onstage at The Fire over the weekend by One Star Hotel, will bring them along to his Philadelphia Stories road show up and down the coasts starting this week.… Artists at Work (828 N. Second) hosts a holiday hoohah Dec. 13 with Shellito, Photon Band, After Dinner Mints, beer and cheer.… Brick Playhouse’s sixth annual Night of 1,000 Plays (Feb. 13-23) is looking for teensy theatricales. Work fast. Deadline’s Dec. 15. Send to Brick Playhouse, Attn: N1K, 623 South St., Phila., Pa. 19147.… Gathering guy Chuck Van Zyl’s Ministry of Inside Things slices and dices Dec. 13’s Gate to Moonbase Alpha at The Rotunda, with dancer/bio-slide showwoman Lindsay Vickery, The Great Quentini and David Gerbstadt’s oil projections.… Philly’s atmosphere masters Euclid Street have a busy week promoting their inclusion on Anthropologie’s CD sampler vol. 6 with The Pretenders and Sigur Rós (available online at www.anthropologie.com). They’ll finish recording their Cinjun debut, Are We Where Yet?, at Indre and will mess around at La Tazza’s SoundLab with Paul Edwards (who mixed the Anthro-track “My Friend”) and Revisor Dec. 12. Plus, some Euclids are part of Famous In Vegas, attacking Rotunda’s Sick City Holiday Extravaganza with The Low Budgets Dec. 14.… DJ Spinna shows his soul-slamming mettle: a) spinning Aqua Lounge’s “Prince vs. Michael Jackson”/open vodka bar showdown Dec. 12; b) dropping his BBE Records Beat Generation Series CD in February; c) compiling the funky Suite 903, featuring Muses Wild muse/Barrymore Award-winning actress Lizz Fields.… Are you a NoLib designer/artisan? Then check out Zeda R’s Holiday Trunk Show of like-minded sales-sorts at The Latte Lounge Dec. 15.… Happy two-year anniversary to Cashman & Associates Promotions (whose honchess Nicole Cashman also celebrates her b-day on Dec. 18) and Club Kama Sutra. Celebrating a Friday the 13th b-day is spooky Jimi Mooney, the man what lives inside Helen Back.