Virgin Voter

Why voting is almost as good as sex.

by Daniel Russo

Three weeks ago was my first time. It didn’t last long. I was in and out in only a few minutes. I was nervous initially, but once the curtains closed my inhibitions disappeared. When it was over, I felt a satisfaction that’s hard to describe. Anyone who’s done it would understand.… No, this wasn’t Playboy; I’m talking about voting. There was an election on November 5, remember? I went into a booth, pulled a lever, and chose who I thought would do the best job running the government.

I'd never been politically active before this year, but recently I began exploring my political self. Trust me, it's not dirty or wrong. It's as important to people's lives as their sexuality. Nobody realizes this. In fact, now that the election is over, most citizens, if they actually deserve to be called that, will totally ignore politics until the next election. In the meantime, Americans will give more thought to who they want to have sex with than to whether or not their public servants are screwing them in a different way.

Voting, however, is just the beginning of an active political life. It's like foreplay. True political penetration happens once the politicians start using the power we, the people, gave them. We, in turn, are supposed to pay attention to what they're doing throughout their terms in office. If we don't like their performance, we don't just shut up, roll over and fall asleep. We take action with voting, phone calls, petitions and protests. Good democracy, like good sex, requires energy and active participation. Unfortunately, a large number of us aren't willing to put in the effort.

I used to be like most people. I didn't care.

Then, a new kind of desire filled me. Maybe it's because I started paying off government sponsored student loans, or because I found out how hard it is to find a decent job, and how much of my pay goes to taxes. Maybe it's because I saw smoke rising off the ruins of the Twin Towers. Whatever it was, this October I went to the Media courthouse and registered to vote. While there, I met a woman in her 60s who was doing the same. She ranted about oil drilling in Alaska and the destruction of the rain forest. I asked her why she was so fired up about voting. "Because I want to make sure there's something left for you, the younger generations, after I die." At first, I thought she was crazy. Like most of America's passive "silent majority," I assumed that because she was passionate about political issues there was something wrong with her. Then I reconsidered. My friends talk as passionately sometimes, mostly when discussing love and/or sex. Is romance more important than the environment? Were my friends more normal than this woman because their passion was focused somewhere?

Politicians must seduce voters with a campaign to be elected. I went to a gubernatorial debate later that month at the borough hall to experience this firsthand. "The fact that only one third of Pennsylvanians vote means your vote is magnified," said Libertarian candidate Ken Krawchuk in his closing statement. It struck me that such a small part of the population picks the people who make so many important decisions. It also makes me wonder how different life would be if only a third of people old enough to vote had sex.

After the debate, I hung around to watch the candidates whisper sweet campaign promises into the ears of those who stayed. I met a woman from the local chapter of the League of Women Voters. I asked her why people didn't participate. "With young people they say Œwe don't vote because politicians don't care about us.' The politicians say, Œwe don't care about young people because they don't vote'; so it's a cycle."

On Election Day, I cast my vote. Outside the polling station were party representatives, candidates, union members, lawyers and even medical doctors. They loitered like last-minute political prostitutes tempting voters with pamphlets and slogans. Some races were close. Turnout was higher than expected. Now that it's over the real political lovemaking will begin. Will they reform medical malpractice laws and stop doctors from leaving the state? Will they improve schools? What about property taxes and a war with Iraq? It's up to us to hold public servants accountable. Voting is only part of that process.

Accountability takes many forms. For example, parents and teachers should introduce children early to political awareness. The media should provide accurate information on a regular basis instead of sensationalizing coverage or constantly replacing political news with less important stories that are more profitable.

Many might argue that they don't have time to get involved. I don't buy it. People make time for what matters to them. How often have you passed up a chance to knock boots because you're too busy? Be honest.

Maintaining democracy isn't easy. However, the freedom and prosperity that our political system allows is, like sex, essential to a full life. If you've been a political prude up to now, it's time to lose your virginity.

Daniel Russo is a local freelance writer. If you would like to respond to this Slant or have one of your own (850 words), contact Howard Altman, City Paper executive editor, 123 Chestnut St., third floor, Phila., PA 19106 or e-mail altman@citypaper.net.