Tired of international mysteries and government conspiracies? Ponder news anchor Marc Howard and WPVI-6 TV; why they dropped him from air, why he isn’t allowed back into the City Line Ave. office or studios and why he then became part of a bigger palace coup: the one to oust Larry Kane from his 11 p.m. NBC-10 spot. It ain’t Macbeth, but.… Sean Agnew’s not only feeling regular, what with new homes for his R5 babies (Pontiac, Gasoline, 1616), he’s feeling fantastic. So much so, he’s offering lifetime passes (only four, though) for $150 each. Passes get you into every R5 show anywhere, sold out or not. “If you’re crazy enough to go to all the events we have coming up before the end of October, it actually more than pays for itself,” says Agnew, who’ll accept credit cards, PayPal, cash, check and money orders at DJR5000@aol.com.… Elie & Johnny. Sounds like a song, right? No. They’re the harmonious couple who opened Local Color -- an art gallery/gift shop at 943 S. Ninth St.… How close is Bookbinders in Old City to becoming apartments and a chain restaurant?… Northern Liberties Music Fest 2 hits Liberty Lands Park (North Third and Poplar) Sept. 1 with Photon Band, Joey Sweeney, Wobbly, Naked Omaha, Strapping Fieldhands, Wastoid, Bardo Pond, Need New Body and the Northern Liberties Dance Band.… Ragga-breaks-boss Anton Chasm hooked up, through Sound Alliance, the distorted-dubby-electro-trance track “Children of the Night” for 12-inch release.… Entertainment attorney Bernie Resnick is set to face off with his old boss, Lloyd Remick as experts in the Clarence “Ready Rock” Holmes v. Will “Fresh Prince” Smith lawsuit. Coming this fall to a courtroom near you: Resnick will “expert” Holmes and Lloyd Will in a Pennsylvania state case against Smith, claiming that Holmes was an original member of DJ Jazzy Jeff (who had a nice CD release at Fluid with master of work Kenny “Dope” Gonzalez) and the Fresh Prince, and did not receive his share of publishing, royalties etc.… Still undead: Mick Cancer/Rich Lustre and Tim Trauma bring The Sickidz, Philly-legend-Cramp-punks (now co-starring King Of Siam’s Robert Bell) to Khyber Aug. 30 with ex-Dead Milkmen sorts The Low Budgets. Look for newly recorded tunes like “If the Flys Are Alive.”… Framework Music technoiste Bob Brown (who’ll be back on WKDU soon) brings funky-techno DJ brethren Slushy and Shiva to Silk City Aug. 29 for the first edition of “Strobe.” Buy a copy of his mix CD Afrika Aware in the lobby.… Now it can be told: X Games celebrity update. Tony Hawk, in one day, was spotted noshing at Morimoto, Tangerine and Pod (where he impressed suckers -- I mean crowds -- by driving a scooter). What’s to say about Hawk? Mothafucka’s eating large as well as getting paid. While King Britt held court for international journalists at Pod, Paul Westerberg sat it out at the cigar lounge at Sofitel. Hawk, Britt, and Tatyana Ali (from Fresh Prince of Bel Air) also hung at 1616 for Jen Bragg/Najah Perry’s SHEbang. Less X-treme: Avenue B hosted Darren Daulton, Steve Carlton, Mike Schmidt, John Kruk, Lenny Dykstra and John Denny in town for the Harry Kalas ceremony. No skateboards.… Looking for RuffNation folk this weekend? Don’t. Director Richard Murray, CE-uh-O Chris Schwartz and co., hit St. Louis with Snipes star Nelly to celebrate the theatrical release of the film.… Square Biz Inc. hook up another Illadelph Experiment Sept. 1 at 1616: ?uestlove, Train, Blanco, Miz, Brendan O, Cosmo, DST, Nyce, Jay-ski, Rich Medina and Dennis Perez spin. By the way: Blanco and Brendan (who was very busy trying to block flying hot dogs from hitting Fishbone during their Transit/X Games private soiree) will now coordinate all music for all of Stephen Starr’s restaurants, including the brand new Jones (love that ’60s/’70s soul stew I heard opening night!) and the new Iron Chef joint in NYC. Many different mixes, seven days a week. “You do the math. When will I sleep?” asks Brendan, who’ll spin Jones every Thursday (Nyce does Fridays, Blanco Saturdays and Low Budget on Wednesdays).… Lo-fi kitchen utensilers The Red Masque unveil their dramatic new CD Victoria and the Haruspex and new guitarist Kiarash Emami at Rotunda Aug. 29 with Dysrhythmia and the U.K.’s Thieves Kitchen in tow.… B-days!: Robert Drake is again asking everyone to pay to see him on his birthday at Tattooed Mom’s Sept. 1 (only if you wanna snack from his picnic basket). Drake’s pal Psydde Delicious hosts a Fast, Cheap & Out of Control Sept. 1 for Zipperhead’s Mark Liberty’s “Punk as Hell Birthday” at Fluid with DJ Major Wood and Z-head owners Rob and Steph. And when he’s not busy midwifing clients like Silvertide’s soon-due David Ivory-produced J-label-EP, Brad Rubens is having a first baby for real: well, his wife Kim did, Lucas Grant Rubens, 6 pounds 5 ounces. Give that kid a guitar.