new

JASON X

Under no circumstances should you see Jason X by yourself -- not because you’ll be scared, but because there’s no point in making fun of it if there’s no one to hear you. Set 450 years in the future, where technology has advanced but people still haven’t figured out not to split up when they hear a loud noise in the basement, Jason X is -- you guessed it -- the 10th entry in the Friday the 13th series, which has lain dormant for almost a decade now. Revived by the sound of teenagers copulating, Jason rises from the grave (actually a cryogenic suspension chamber) and menaces a bevy of young adults from the year 2055. Given how low expectations are for a movie like this, it’s not surprising Jason X surpasses them; though none of the acting quite surpasses David Cronenberg’s opening-minutes cameo, the cast (who’ve remained no-names despite the fact that the movie has been in the can for two years) do a creditable job of not embarrassing themselves. Of course, it’s still 90 minutes of your time, and don’t you have laundry to do? -- Sam Adams (AMC Andorra;

AMC Orleans; Cinemagic)

LIFE OR SOMETHING LIKE IT

Angelina Jolie is a Seattle TV reporter who wears spiky heels, designer suits and hair like Marilyn Monroe. She resents her perfect sister, seeks her father’s attention and actually doesn’t love her shallow superstar professional baseball player boyfriend (Christian Kane). During a local color spot, a homeless “prophet” (Tony Shalhoub) tells Jolie she’ll die in a week. Suddenly, her scruffy-faced cameraman (Edward Burns) looks attractive, because he’s sincere, has a good relationship with his young son and doesn’t shave. Following an on-camera meltdown -- drunk, she leads striking busdrivers in an enthusiastic rendition of “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction” -- Jolie discovers that her ambition to be a feature interviewer like Baba Wawa is lame, and that her true calling is to be a devoted girlfriend. Of course, you’re happy that she’s found herself, but you have to wonder about the options provided for her in Stephen Herek’s retro-generic romantic comedy. --Cindy Fuchs (AMC Andorra;

AMC Orleans; Baederwood; Ritz 16)

SEX WITH STRANGERS

That this is the second swingumentary in as many years is testament to the relatively populous intersection of the set of people willing to get it on in front of a camera crew and the set of people willing to -- how you say? -- bring on additional partners to expand the firm. Where 2000’s The Lifestyle focused on the flabby calisthenics of aging, largely conservative gangbang enthusiasts, Taxicab Confessions-creators Joe and Harry Gantz are here more interested in the behind-the-orgies subtext of their seven young-ish, attractive-ish subjects’ search for fun, power and even marital stability. The results manage to be overly intimate (and at 105 minutes, overly long) without being overly revealing. James and Theresa are the happiest of the film’s characters; married and swinging for six years, the practically wholesome sunniness of their tag-team skirt-chasing hobby manages to negate the skeeziness induced by James’ soul patch and Theresa’s “need” for breast implants to compete with younger women. Shannon and Gerard are not as successful at their marriage-counselor-suggested Lifestyle; the distinction between “swinging” and “open” marriages becomes clear when they fight after Gerard takes a solo visit to a woman he met on the Net. The most effed-up relationship, however, is evil Calvin’s, who plays his girlfriends Sarah and Julie’s insecurities off each other over and over, all in the name of Swinging. For all his lip service to the importance of directness and honesty, Calvin is the one person here who never comes clean. --Ryan Godfrey (Ritz at the Bourse)