May 24–31, 2001

bell curve

The Bell Curve

City Paper’s weekly gauge of Philly’s Quality of Life.

Dramatic, seventh-game win over Raptors sends Sixers to conference finals. A good lesson for the kids: work for your college degree, like Vince Carter, and lose to a guy who dropped out after two years, like Allen Iverson. Plus 5

Work gets under way on construction project that will disrupt traffic on I-95 for two years. Contacts awarded to Overturned Tractor Trailers, Inc., Fuel Spills LLP and National Tire Fire. Minus 4

The project? Contruction of a massive "Stop Road Rage" billboard.

Ten-year-old Northeast boy wins amateur magician competition and gets to meet his idol, David Copperfield. The magician gives his young fan a starched and pressed black turtleneck and advance copy of his new book, Even Creepy Guys Can Get Supermodels. Plus 1

City Council to honor Philly native Chris Matthews, host of MSNBC’s Hardball. Great news — if by "honor" they mean "smack in the head." Plus 1

Councilman Rick Mariano said to be excited to have a Philadelphian more obnoxious than him appearing in City Hall.

Matthews expected not to let presenter finish his sentences.

Mayor Street’s brother Milton involved in plan to take over city’s animal control contract. Try not to think about this next time you buy a hotdog from one of his food carts. Minus 3

His first promise: stamp out animal nepotism.

With patronage haven PGW under so much scrutiny, loser relatives of political figures have to be creative.

Lawyer for man who drove wrong way on I-95 last year, causing fatal accident, says murder charge too harsh. Lynne Abraham promises to execute him backwards. Minus 3

Slight majority of city families now headed by single parent, according to new Census data. "And boy, am I tired!" says parent. Minus 8

Councilman Jim Kenney calls for new city agency to assist immigrants. That, or signs directing Russian immigrants to the Northeast, Asians to Chinatown and all others to New York. Plus 2

Mortgage lenders’ association sues to prevent city from implementing new law against predatory lending. How courageous of the industry to protect the right of unsuspecting poor people to pay 22-percent interest. Minus 3

City will host a medical convention instead of this year’s Army-Navy game due to scheduling screw-up, tourism officials admit. South Street merchants fear crowds of rowdy hemotologists. Minus 3

That and collapsing railings at the Vet.

Total pluses: 9

Total minuses: 24

Score for the Week: -15

Last Week’s Total: 0