May 24–31, 2001

mix picks

All’s Fairs

It’s not summer yet, it’s better. Before this city becomes a sticky goo of heat, humidity and tourists you should really get outside and enjoy yourself. When was the last time you enjoyed yourself?

There’s still time to see the bizarre human spectacles that turn up for the Pennsylvania Fair, which closes after Memorial Day. Of course, the Fair has all kinds of inhuman spectacles, too. Fare includes: livestock competitions, baked goods contests and rides called "Slingshot," "Wild Claw" and "Cuckoo Haus," which you can assume recreates the German sanitarium experience. Among the bigger attractions this year are the "X-Treme Air Acrobatic Stunt Team," a Bengal tiger show, humorous pig races, some kind of dogs-doing-tricks event and organized human arm wrestling. These things do not take place all at once. The Fair is a little bit outside the city in Bensalem’s Philadelphia Park (3001 Street Road, 215-639-9000). Why exactly is Philadelphia Park in Bensalem? Same reason you’d drive out to Bensalem to see a baked goods contest. Because we’re all nuts.

Not enough time to prepare? Well, the Philadelphia County Fair starts up next Thursday in Fairmount Park (just outside of Memorial Hall). It’s meticulously designed to expose us city folk to the wonders of farm life. The sort of wonders you can see and smell on a long country drive. A reasonable facsimile of a working farm will be set up, including live appearances by beef, pork and poultry in their natural, unsauteéd shapes. The County Fair is a smaller affair than the State Fair, which makes sense, but some of the attractions are suspiciously familiar: baked goods contests, livestock competition, racing pigs — even a freaking Bengal tiger show. It runs May 31 to June 10.

Of course, the annual Creative Collective Craft & Fine Arts Fair will be popping up this weekend (and every weekend through September) in Headhouse Square. Okay, I’m not saying it’ll be "fun" in the generally accepted sense of the word, but it is sort of interesting and technically a "fair." Look for the older people and little tables being threatened by gusts of wind beneath Headhouse Shambles, the little enclosed brick walkway at Second and Lombard. As usual, various artists and merchants will be dealing their handmade and homemade nonessentials, like jewelry, glasswares, ceramics, clothing, woodturned art, that sort of thing. This is a tiger-free event.

—Patrick Rapa