April 19–26, 2001

bell curve

The Bell Curve

First Union to to merge with, and take name of, rival bank Wachovia. Executives say they’ll always keep a little F.U. in their hearts. Minus 4

Man who hit Liberty Bell with hammer tells judge it was a "religious act," but is declared incompetent to stand trial. God issued a statement, "When I make somebody bang the Liberty Bell, trust Me, you will know it." 0

Bowing to pressure, PGW agrees not to start shutting off gas to customers who haven’t paid. Of course, customers who pay get better seats at next month’s unexplained explosion at a South Philly location to be determined. Plus 6

Already on trial in Philly, Joey Merlino learns he'll be named as defendant in another racketeering case in Jersey. He tells accountant to write off purchase of Ashley Judd’s Double Jeopardy DVD as a legal research expense. 0

Convicted con man avoids 20-year prison term by agreeing to donate kidney to his ailing sister. Joey Merlino volunteers to donate "as many kidneys as you need." Plus 2

Man sentenced to 9-19 years for opening fire in high school gymnasium during a basketball game last year. He’s just happy he beat the seven-year point spread. Plus 3

DA candidate Alex Talmadge sued five times in past 10 years for not paying bills, Daily News reports. Talmadge aide says, "Don’t worry, buddy, they were PGW bills. Nobody pays those." Minus 1

Total Pluses: 11

Total Minuses: 5

Score for the Week: 6

Last Week’s Total: -3