These days comedian Gilbert Gottfried may be best known as the voice of Aladdin's kvetching parrot, Ayego. But for years he's centered his comedy routine around a crotchety ramble that would send shivers up Henny Youngman's spine.
His rumpled grimace regularly crops up on Comedy Central, MTV, and the USA network and he's played a string of memorable roles in forgettable movies, including: Beverly Hills Cop II, The Adventures of Ford Fairlaine, Problem Child, and Look Who's Talking Too.
Saturday Night Live was his professional home for all of five months — from Nov. 1980 to March 1981. Now he says the skit show has gone beyond funny or unfunny to just being "a bad restaurant in a good location."
The comedian plays the part of Ayego in the daily Aladdin cartoon and will also repeat the role in a third Aladdin movie, Aladdin and the Prince of Thieves, which will be released straight-to-tape in the fall.
The conditions of our conversation are as offbeat as Gottfried's humor. He calls me from a Manhattan pay phone while taking a break during a location shoot. The call is interrupted every two minutes by a stern recorded operator: "please deposit five cents for the next two minutes." About the time we start talking about Saturday Night Live, Gottfried runs out of change and I have to call him back.
Judging by the tone of his standup routine, you'd expect Gottfried's offstage demeanor to be about as much fun as one of your Grandfather's prickly cronies. Actually, it's quite easy. In real life, he has a placid phone voice akin to Mr. Roger's younger brother and the ability to compose a one-liner in nanoseconds.
What are you on a shoot for?
USA Up All Night. I host these bad movies late at night.
Do you work for them often?
More often than I'd like to talk about.
What kind of characters would you like to play that you haven't?
Gentiles.
Do you feel typecast as "the whiny Jew"?
Well, I play Jews and parrots. Parrots are how I've branched out.
Are there any other cartoon characters you'd like to play?
Olive Oil.
Did anyone ever think you were involved with the movie What's Eating Gilbert Grape?
Yeah, they've confused the title. Unfortunately, I've never been mistaken as Johnny Depp. That would be nice, because I'd like to have sex with Kate Moss.
You appear on Howard Stern's show fairly regularly. What interview tips would you give to someone about to appear on the show?
Become a glutton for punishment.
Is there any way to win with Howard?
No, but after a while you get hammered away at so much you don't feel anything.
What did you say on the '91 Emmy Awards that pissed off the censors?
It was around the time that Pee We Herman got arrested for masturbating. I said "If masturbating is a crime, I should be on death row." I kept on rambling on the topic and eventually, they cut me off.
What was the fallout from that?
Actually, it turned out to be the best press I ever got. Every TV news show did the typical segment, "Horrible Filth on TV," and then they would show the entire clip. It was shown more times because it was censored than if Fox had aired it.
I read an old article that quotes a Fox publicist saying they didn't want you back on the station. Did the network executives give you the cold shoulder after the Emmys?
No, not at all. I've done a lot of Fox shows since then —Married with Children, Living Single and a whole bunch of other Fox things.
Did you feel Pee Wee was unnecessarily persecuted for that charge?
Well, I always wondered how they proved it. Did they dust him for prints?
Can you speak Yiddish?
I can't even speak English.
What do think is your sexiest characteristic?
I brush regularly.
What was it like being a part of Saturday Night Live?
It was as enjoyable as getting pounded in the face a few times.
Did you feel your comedy was inhibited?
I felt when I got there people had stopped using drugs for creative inspiration and that was the problem. The only reason I agreed to the show was for the free drugs.
Do you have any particular drugs of choice?
Cough drops.
I rented a videotape called Greetings from Gottfried that has standup on it and a 1/2 hour show called Norman's Corner where you play a grouchy Manhattan newsstand operator. Was that show a pilot?
It was a pilot who crashed and died. Buddy Holly has more luck with pilots than I do.
Seinfeld's co-creator, Larry David, wrote that show. Do you think it's odd how his career took off with Seinfeld?
I guess he was saving his good writing for later on. Why couldn't he have written Norman's Corner for Jerry Seinfeld and a sitcom called Gottfried for me?
I forgot how popular claymation was in the late '80s. All your dream sequences on that show are done with it. The oddest claymation sequence is where two figurines argue in a nightclub bathroom. To your knowledge, does Norman's Corner feature the only urinating claymation figure ever filmed?
No, 'cause I think Davey and Goliath started urinating in their later seasons.
Were you ever a boy scout?
I still am, but there's a pending lawsuit. If the police ever try to pick me up, Michael Jackson told me I can hide out at his house.
How do you feel about Pat Buchanan?
He's a very understanding guy and a good friend of the Jews. But I can't vote for him; I'm voting for Reverend Lewis Farahkhan.
Have you ever thought of putting your monologues into a book along the similar lines of Seinlanguage?
Yeah, and I think I'm going to call it Seinlanguage — it'll sell much better that way.
Do you have any upcoming TV show appearances?
I did an episode of In the House with LL Cool J and Debbie Allen. One of my many black show appearances. I've become the white step-in-fetch-it on black shows.
What part do you play?
I play the white guy.
Do you have any other movie roles coming up?
I'm planning on doing the all-black version of Citizen Kane.
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