Mayor Michael Nutter has announced a proposed agreement to privatize Philadelphia Gas Works. The...
Published: 10/24/2013 | 0 Comments Posted
[-2] Witnesses say Penn campus police gave Assistant District Attorney Kevin Harden Jr. preferential treatment after his involvement in a brawl at Mad Mex restaurant. “Harden pulls a lot of weight around here,” explains your server, Carly. “If he wants extra guac, he’s gonna get extra guac — plus a free serving of El No Bono hot wings and the best stool in the dining area.”
[+3] More than 30 Methodist pastors meet in Philly and decide to officiate a same-sex wedding despite the church’s stated opposition to homosexuality. “That’s not even what the meeting was about — but, you know, a coupla pastors hit it off at the mixer and boom, we’re rewriting doctrine.”
[+1] The 120th annual conference of the International Association of Chiefs of Police brings police chiefs from around the world to Philadelphia. “We, too, have decided to perform some gay marriages,” they say. “Hell of a weekend.”
 Real-estate site Redfin.com ranks Philly second in a list of cities with houses for sale in close proximity to cemeteries. “It’s all about location, location, location,” explains a lazy necrophiliac.
 Activist organization Keystone Progress hires a plane to pull a banner saying “Gov. Corbett loves Cowboys — hates PA families” over the Eagles/Cowboys game at the Linc. “This is no place for this sort of thing,” says one angry fan. “Why somebody want to make me read on football day?”
[-1] A large shed catches fire at the historic West Laurel Hill cemetery in Bala Cynwyd. “Smells great, but do they deliver?” asks the lazy necrophiliac, who might just become a regular character around here.
 In the only debate between district attorney candidates, incumbent Seth Williams and challenger Danny Alvarez disagree about whether corruption or gun violence should be the office’s top priority. Then there’s a closed-door meeting and, voila, guns it is.
This week’s total: +1 | Last week’s total: 0
Long Live the King of Jeans
“I always kind of wanted to live in a dream world where Duran Duran artwork comes to life, and...
Civic leader Claudia Sherrod sells property being used as an illegal dump, sues business partner.
Claudia Sherrod, head of the South Philadelphia H.O.M.E.S., Inc. civic group, is fighting a legal...