Save for the year my mom died, and the other one in which crullers lost their traction as a viable stock option (I soaked a lot of money into Krispy Kreme Doughnuts Inc.), 2013 has been the Worst Year Ever. But you know as much. That’s why, for the first of my 2014 predictions, I’m betting that this year will be better than the last. It just has to be. And now, let’s look into my crystal ball…
Now that American Hustle (with its fictionalized account of the Abscam scandal) is a big hit, expect wonky filmmakers to turn their wild imaginations loose on other Philly/N.J. bigwigs from the ’70s and ’80s. Look for director Steve McQueen’s The Hillel Levinson Story and Spike Jonze’s Taking It to the (Milton) Street at a cineplex near you.
For all you food bloggers: With locals having already wrapped their heads and aprons around Philly’s culinary iconography a la high-end cheesesteaks and pizza, 2014 will be the year of the designer soft pretzel. Certainly gluten-free. Look for Vetri to roll them in mortadella, ricotta and pistachio pesto, Michael Solomonov to stuff them with hummus and kalamata olives at Zahav and ginger-glaze them (no more than 10 a day, though) at Federal Donuts, Noord’s Joncarl Lachman to dip them in mustard soup and Peter Serpico to surround them with Cope’s Corn.
Trap music mixes are out. Bear trap mixes are in. Not hurting bears, mind you; just capturing the sound of steel teeth shutting repeatedly and hypnotically. Go ahead, DJs, tell me you’re not running for your samplers, putting on your duck boots and heading out into the Pines.
Beardos beware: The wild furry look will be out, the tapered Van Dyke will be in. Say good-night, Jason Kelce.
Bored, photo bloggers and Instagrammers will start doing court sketches with charcoals as a hobby. Look for lots of hand cramps as the new ailment.
This part isn’t jokey at all, really: Philly’s two hottest bar and restaurant areas are going to be 1) East Passyunk Avenue (Again? Again!) with the now-vacant St. Jude Shop as the property for restaubar entrepreneurs to snag. 2) Frankford Avenue, especially with La Colombe’s rum-and-coffee café, Tommy Up’s tiki bar, the project formerly known as B-Side bar (now called Kensington Quarters) from the Bufad boys, and — big news here — Stephen Starr and Aimee Olexy’s latest partnership, a casual-cuisine-filled, extra-wide, mega-restaubar with a huge outdoor component that’ll open on the Frank before 2014’s end, very near the La Colombe space. Happy New Year indeed.
More ice? See citypaper.net/nakedcity.
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