Dear Papa: I have a friend from high school whom I cannot seem to get rid of. We have nothing in common anymore, and he’s a loud, annoying drunk. I’ve tried ignoring his calls, but that doesn’t always work — plus, it makes me feel guilty. You’d think he would get the hint, but no. How do I cut him loose without being a jerk? —Mature in Manayunk
Dear Mature: It’s tough to ask a man not to drink — without it, there’s not much pleasure to life — but some men are sloppy and it’s a damn shame. You could tell him to straighten up, but a man will do what he will do. If you’re really done with him, the quickest way to rid yourself of a friend is to write the truth about him and to let him read it. You’re halfway there.
Dear Papa: I’m a 28-year-old woman. I have lived in the same house for almost four years, six months longer than my horrible roommate. She burns food on the stove, she says she is too weak to take out the trash, she leaves her bloody pads in the dryer. I have told her I would like her to leave twice. We are both on the lease, so I can’t legally make her move out. All of the stuff in the house is mine and the rent is great — I don’t want to go! How can I get her the hell out? —Bloody Pissed in Passyunk
Dear Bloody Pissed: There’s a hell of a lot of nonsense in this. Once you’ve seen another person’s blood, one way or another, you shouldn’t have any gingerness between you. If you can’t resolve it with a drink and straight talk, then a round or two in the ring should help with clarity. Find yourself a city gym and a trusted referee — and if she’s bigger, stronger and tougher than you, a new place to live.